Merry Christmas

Christmas is fast approaching and as soon as we put the leftover Turkey in the fridge we'll be out trolling the malls scoping out those long promised Christmas bargains from struggling retailers.

With unemployment at an all time high, business' filing Chapter 11 left and right, and the few retailers who haven't yet shuttered their doors offering unprecedented deals, this holiday season is measuring up to be one for the books.

This year I'm going to forgo cra** commercialism. No gift exchange with friends, no special "something something" for my man. No donations to orphanages, no office grab bag and no secret Santa gift exchanges. This year I'm giving, big fat, Christmas bonus' to a lucky, bunch of stock brokers. Preferably the already well off brokers from Merrill Lynch, Lehman Bros. Goldman Sachs or Morgan Stanley. And I'm also gonna throw a little money at the bankers, AIG, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and a bunch of other companies who's names the FEDS are refusing to reveal.

You're probably asking yourself why I want to give a bunch of overpaid, under-performing stock brokers and executives a huge Christmas bonus this year and the short answer is, I don't. Problem is I wasn't consulted about that decision. Congress decided to give bailout money to these companies and Congress, not wanting to interfere with big business(who abhors Government interference of any kind) didn't feel comfortable insisting on preconditions, like, don't waste the taxpayers money handing out generous bonus' to your seemingly incompetent staff, who are partly responsible for the financial pickle you now find ourselves in. Or, we'll give you this money but you gotta cut the salaries of your bloated management ranks who also woefully underperformed this year.

Wouldn't you think companies that are hemorrhaging money would want to make prudent cut backs? Tighten the belt, buckle down, and look for ways to cut costs. What 's more wouldn't you think at least the shareholders would insist on some sort of accountability? These companies claim they can't withhold massive holiday bonuses because they don't want to lose their top talent to competitors. I'm no titan of industry but if I had a bunch of overpaid incompetents working for me, my competitor is exactly where I'd want them to end up. Or here's a concept. If every company called for a moratorium on bonuses, no one would go anywhere, right? I don't really see that happening though because these companies have nothing to lose. They can still have their fancy retreats, their celebratory banquets, their big bonus rewards for their inept staff and incentive trips. After all, they get to play Santa with taxpayer money. And if they run short of cash... no problem, they can always hit up rich old Uncle Sam, aka us.